In my previous blog I tried to condense 3 years onto one page. There is so much that happened in those 3 years .
Leaving behind the only life I knew was terrifying , you literally fly into the unknown wondering what the air will smell like will the grass be just as green what about the streets? Do they have roads just like we do in South Africa ,are the shops kind of the same. Arghhh the silliest thoughts came to my mind while I was on that plane. I suddenly wondered if they had meat that I would recognise. Honestly why I thought the cows here where any different to the cows back home is beyond me, maybe I thought the cows were “calmer” you know kiwi cows less angry cows and therefore the meat would look different hahaha the things that go through your mind are rather hilarious when looking back.
Adjusting to the roads and shops came naturally, My husband made me drive him to work and fetch him, he was a smart man! He did this for two reasons, one was for me to get use to the roads and area and the other was so that I didn’t feel isolated and I had transport for my daughter and I to go do fun things.
I remember the one day my husband told me to go the Warehouse in Manukau, we lived in Papakura, the drive there was horrendous and even though I had travelled that route as a passenger I was absolutely lost . He told me the directions and I think I had written them down but I know I had to turn right at the petrol station …… only problem is that there were so many petrol stations I was just turning right at all of them ……… I got lost and I pulled over and cried and cried. I cried for the roads I missed. I cried for the people I missed. I even cried because I knew I had wasted so much petrol and then I cried just because I needed to. The drive home was sad; I was sad.
I made myself drive back that same day and I found the Warehouse, that was such an achievement for me.
I learned very quickly how to budget and how to stick to that budget, I literally wrote down the prices as I was shopping and adding it a up so I didn’t overspend . We all know how embarrassing it is to have to choose what to “put back” when you have overspent. I learned the true value of the New Zealand dollar and I had a new found respect for people who genuinely struggle financially.
Its hard when the household is only on one salary , the pressure on the person working can really take a toll on a marriage. But we made it work because that was the only option we had.
The thing that I have now come to learn is this ….. The person who goes out to work pretty much has no choice but to just get on with things and keep it together so they can function in society. The person who stays home gets too much time to dissect their feelings and think about the way their life has changed. I strongly recommend that when a couple is in a situation where one person is missing home the other person needs to realise this. When that person vents to you and tells you how much they want to go home and how they hate the sun in New Zealand just listen to them. HEAR them. Sometimes we say things because we need to vocalise how we feel we don’t want you to fix it or fix us we just want you to hear us. And when all is said and done hold us and just love us because its in that moment that we need you to just be there in that room with no words but feeling your arms wrapped around us is enough for us to know that our world will be ok.
